Shocking News

At 1pm we set off for our Christmas lunch. I had a very heavy feeling hanging over me while everyone else in the office was in high spirits. I have never been a party person and feel lost in crowds. At the lunch table I neatly positioned myself with one of my colleagues whom I knew did not use alcohol. At least I would have someone to talk to while we waited for the food. By 2.30pm still no lunch had arrived and around the table drinks were flowing freely. Everyone was in a festive mood, the music was loud and the people even louder. I felt totally out of place and just wished for this day to end so that I could escape to the comfort and security of my own home. Some people will think me dull, but each to his own. I am who I am and I will not change my nature to suit others. Just as much as my friends have the right to party and enjoy themselves, so have I the right to do what makes me feel comfortable. Eventually lunch was ready and plates of food were brought to the table. I was just about to dig in when our Manager, Colin Walker, came over to me and asked if I had my handbag with me. I said yes and he asked me to go with him.

I thought he had some or other gift for someone that he wanted to sneak in, so I grabbed my bag and followed. At the door he turned to me and said "Lydia, we have had some very bad news, you must be strong ... Noel is waiting outside for you". I looked at Colin and saw the expression on his face. Terror gripped me, my mind started racing, and I felt my heart literally beating in my throat. "What is it!!??" hysteria rising in my voice. He gently took my arm and led me through the door where Noel, my brother in law, was waiting. In these few split seconds my mind was jumping all over ... something has happened to my husband Hennie, maybe its mom or dad. "Noel ... what is it ... what has happened?" The look on Noel's face portrayed such despair and when he opened his mouth to speak I heard the most cruel, crushing and devastating words as he reached out to put his arms around me. "Lyd, it's Karen ... she's been killed in a car accident."

SHOCK is not the word to describe what I felt. DISBELIEF is not the word. There are NO words that can ever reveal or even begin to explain that feeling, it defies every humanly possible description. I suddenly went ice cold, my body started to shake, I felt faint, my head was spinning and the whole world came crashing down upon me. I felt like a statue, a dead weight, as if I was dreaming. This cannot be! It's impossible! There must be some mistake! Someone else yes, but not Karen.